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The Power of Self-Kindness




Be Good To Yourself - Paper Napkin Wsdom
Be Good to Yourself

Building Resiliency and Confidence


In the high-pressure world of professional sports, mental resilience can make the difference between success and failure. This NHL postseason, Connor Brown exemplified this truth with a breakout performance that was instrumental in his team's journey to within a goal of the Stanley Cup. His story highlights the profound impact of self-kindness on performance and resilience.

Brown’s journey wasn’t always smooth. Early in his career, he struggled with self-criticism, often being his harshest critic after a poor game.


During his time in Toronto, his performance dipped, and he found himself traded to the Ottawa Senators. However, it was advice from teammate Patrick Marleau that became a turning point for Brown. Marleau emphasized the importance of positive self-talk, saying, “Make sure you talk to yourself like you talk to a teammate.”


Marleau’s wisdom resonated deeply with Brown. He realized that the negative self-talk he indulged in was undermining his confidence and clarity on the ice. By shifting to a more compassionate inner dialogue, Brown not only improved his mental resilience but also saw a remarkable transformation in his performance.





Why Self-Kindness Matters


  1. Builds Resiliency: When you are kind to yourself, you create a mental environment where you can recover from setbacks more quickly. This resiliency is crucial in high-stakes situations, whether in sports or other areas of life.

  2. Enhances Clarity and Focus: Negative self-talk clouds judgment and increases stress. By being kind to yourself, you maintain a clearer mind, which is essential for making quick, effective decisions under pressure.

  3. Boosts Confidence: Self-kindness fosters a sense of self-worth and confidence. When you believe in yourself, you are more likely to take risks and push your boundaries, leading to growth and success.


Applying Self-Kindness in Tough Situations


Brown’s experience is a powerful reminder that the way we talk to ourselves can significantly impact our ability to perform in challenging situations. Here are some practical ways to cultivate self-kindness:

  • Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with encouraging and supportive ones. Speak to yourself as you would to a trusted friend or teammate.

  • Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness exercises that help you stay present and reduce the influence of negative thoughts.

  • Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your struggles without judgment and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to others.


Connor Brown’s story is a great example of the transformative power of self-kindness. By changing his inner dialogue, he built the resilience, clarity, and confidence needed to excel under pressure. Let his experience inspire us all to be kinder to ourselves, fostering a mindset that not only enhances our performance but also enriches our overall well-being.


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I help people feel empowered so that they feel and act with resilience in the face of challenges.

This can give people the confidence and clarity they need to see their way through something they thought was impossible. 

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