EP 242 - Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — It’s Essential: Karen Kossow on Redefining Responsibility

Karen Kossow - Paper Napkin Wisdom - Self-care isn’t selfish… it’s essential.

“Self-care isn’t selfish… it’s essential.” 

That’s the simple but deeply powerful message that Karen Kossow chose to write on her napkin for this episode of Paper Napkin Wisdom. And it’s a message that comes from lived experience. 

Karen is a devoted parent of two autistic children and a tireless advocate for those navigating complex family dynamics. As a life coach and speaker, she specializes in helping caregivers, especially mothers, shift their mindset from burnout and guilt to empowerment and sustainability. 

In our conversation, Karen shares how self-care transformed her parenting, her marriage, and her impact as a coach. “I see firsthand in my own life, and with the clients that I work with, what happens when people in stressful situations that they can’t get out of don’t take care of themselves,” she says. It’s not just about spa days or bubble baths—it’s about survival, and more importantly, about thriving. 

She challenges the narrative that taking time for yourself is a luxury or an indulgence. Instead, she reframes it as a leadership act—one that sets the tone for families, teams, and communities. “We’ve somehow linked value to self-sacrifice, and that’s broken us,” Karen says. “Self-care isn’t the thing you do when everything else is done—it’s the thing you do so you can do everything else.” 

Throughout the episode, Karen brings clarity and compassion to what self-care actually means. She’s not asking us to abandon responsibility—but rather to redefine it. If your fuel tank is empty, you can’t drive anyone anywhere. 

Her wisdom is especially vital for entrepreneurs, caregivers, and change-makers who often put themselves last. As Karen reminds us, “If you go down, the whole system collapses. You matter.” 

This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and reframe how you show up for yourself—because that’s the key to showing up fully for others. 

5 Key Takeaways from Karen Kossow 

1. Self-care is leadership, not luxury Taking care of yourself isn’t optional—it’s the foundation for being able to care for others and lead effectively. 

   Take Action: Block out 15 non-negotiable minutes each day just for yourself—recharge, journal, breathe, walk. 

2. Guilt is the enemy of growth Many caregivers and high performers struggle with guilt when they prioritize their needs. Karen calls this out as a harmful mindset. 

   Take Action: Replace guilt-driven thinking with a daily affirmation: “Taking care of myself benefits everyone I love.” 

3. Burnout starts with self-neglect Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign. Karen emphasizes the long-term costs of pushing through. 

   Take Action: Start tracking your energy like a budget—notice what drains you and what fills your tank. 

4. Caregiving requires sustainability Whether you’re parenting, leading a team, or supporting a partner, your care has to be sustainable to be effective. 

   Take Action: Identify one responsibility you can delegate or delay this week to protect your energy. 

5. It’s a cultural mindset shift Karen believes we must unlearn the idea that martyrdom equals value. Thriving leaders model balance and boundaries. 

   Take Action: Share this episode with someone who needs permission to take a breath—and be that permission for yourself. 

Karen’s work is rooted in empathy, experience, and a fierce belief that no one should have to burn out to prove their worth. Her message is clear: self-care is not only essential—it’s revolutionary. 

💬 What does self-care look like in your life? Write it down on a napkin and share it with us using #PaperNapkinWisdom. 

🔗 Connect with Karen Kossow: Website: https://www.karenkossow.com