Leave No Stone Unturned: Roberta Perry on Living With No Regrets

Jan 23, 2025

6 min read

Updated: 4 days ago

Roberta Perry's napkin says leave no stone unturned, with a smiley face underneath. She coined the phrase after her sister Michelle died. Michelle was her best friend and her partner in a skincare business they built together. As the business grew they had disagreements like any partners. They fixed them right away. There was nothing they didn't tell each other. So when Michelle got sick and was gone within six weeks, Roberta lost her sister but carried no regrets. Each knew exactly how the other felt. That, she says, gives you some peace of mind. Her advice is to get under the rock with the people who matter most. Find the moss, scrape it down, get to the root. For a founder juggling partners, family and a business, it is a reminder that the hardest conversations are the ones you most regret skipping.

https://youtu.be/88ay6va41aM

Inspired by Paper Napkin Wisdom Episode 211 with Roberta Perry.

Why unsaid things become regrets

Roberta has a line she uses often. They say that on your deathbed, it's what you didn't do and didn't say. Everyone messes up. Everyone says something stupid. The regret is the thing you wish you had said and didn't.

With Michelle, there was none of that. In business they had small clashes over style and approach. When something came up, they named it and dealt with it. When Michelle needed time for things in her life, they figured out how to shift. Roberta knows not everyone can work with a sibling. For them it opened the door to nothing going unsaid, good, bad or indifferent.

She says there isn't a minute of the day she doesn't miss her sister. But she describes having a very unique relationship with death, because they each knew exactly where they stood. She speaks about Michelle as if she is right there, beside her. And she talks about her with joy, not morbidity, because she was so much fun to have around.

The closeness wasn't always there. As kids they were a mile apart. It shifted when Michelle married young and moved to Florida for a while. Roberta missed her. When Michelle came home, they became inseparable, raising their kids together.

How to choose who gets the deep conversations

Roberta is clear that you can't do this with everyone. You don't have the capacity. She thinks of it as a galaxy. In the inner circle are her husband, her children, her grandkids and her best friends. Further out are the hundreds of friends and acquaintances she has made through the business and through life. She enjoys them. They just aren't the people she will peel back every layer with.

The test for the inner circle is simple. These are the people who will really care when she is gone. The ones she can call at three in the morning.

At the very center, she puts herself. She doesn't see that as selfish. She calls it selfless. Knowing who you are, what you need and how you feel makes you better for everyone else.

She often knows quickly. If a hundred customers walk in, all of them wonderful, maybe four will become friends. It is a comment, a smirk, an energy. Her best friend Wendy has been in her life since 1977, and later came to work with her. She once invited a stranger's daughter to her child's birthday party within an hour of meeting the mom, because she knew they would be friends. They still are.

What leaving no stone unturned means in business

Roberta says the phrase works in business too. It means taking opportunities and not being afraid to see what your customers really want, rather than what you thought they needed at the start. In her business group, it means digging into the real numbers, not exaggerating how the holiday season went.

Her view of the business is unusual. The sign says skincare products. What it should say, she jokes, is customer service that happens to come in jars and bottles. The whole business is about people leaving feeling better than when they walked in.

She brings the same idea to her customers' inner lives. When someone comes in apologizing because they haven't been in for a while, she tells them to stop. You are here now. That is self-care. And the questions underneath are worth asking too. What haven't I done for myself lately? Why am I frustrated? Let me peel that layer back.

One example is how she handles the holidays. On Black Friday they do something small, like a gift with purchase. The real event is the Friday before, a customer loyalty sale, mostly announced to their own email list. People aren't rushing yet. Some customers she met years ago at early product demos come once a year and order for the whole year. She calls it the greatest day of the year, a thank you in both directions.

How to build a business around your life

Roberta credits her first business mentor with one line: "Build a business around your lifestyle." She ran the business out of her house for years before opening a shop. When she did, she skipped the long retail hours.

Her shop sits on a main street that is more of a restaurant and bar town. People stop shopping in the early evening and head to dinner. So why stay open late? Instead, she and Wendy share the schedule. One opens, the other closes. If one travels, the other covers. On the day we spoke, Roberta had run errands, gone to a drum lesson and stopped for a car wash before walking in after noon.

She calls herself part of the sandwich generation. Her elderly mom comes to the shop and puts stickers on bags. Her brother is involved but lives in another state. She has kids and grandkids. The business fits around all of it, which means she can keep doing it as long as she wants.

I noticed that leaving no stone unturned, for Roberta, also meant thinking differently about how a business can fit a life.

How a lost partner's ideas keep shaping the company

One of Roberta's favorite stories is about parties. In their tiny first store, Michelle kept pushing the idea of hosting parties. Roberta kept dismissing it. They were focused on wholesale at the time. When she finally agreed to try, Michelle ran out to her car and came back with bags of platters. She had been ready all along.

The idea went through a few versions. It started out too complicated and became their make-your-own scrub parties. Guests get pampered with a hand scrub and create their own signature scent. Girl Scouts, ladies' nights, kits shipped for parties at home. The parties are now one of the cornerstones of the business and part of what makes it unique. At every one, Roberta hears a voice saying, told you.

She is careful not to put her sister on a pedestal. Michelle was far from perfect, and Roberta jokes about that with her niece and nephew. It keeps her real. She was also fun, irreverent, sweet to everyone and a great mom. Carrying that forward is a responsibility Roberta wears proudly. She believes Michelle would be proud of her.

How to apply this in your business this week

Start with the inner circle, at work and at home.

Write down the handful of people you would call at three in the morning. Ask yourself if anything is unsaid with any of them.
Pick one and say it this week. I love you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Fix the fight.
If you have a business partner, name one small friction you have been letting sit and talk about it now.
Look at your hours and routines. Ask where the business could fit your life better instead of the other way around.
Ask your best customers what they really want. Listen for what you didn't expect.

Roberta's reason is simple. Life is short, and any day could be the last day. Tell the people you love that you love them.