Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Warren Rustand on Self-Mastery

May 27, 2015

5 min read

Updated: 4 days ago

Warren Rustand wrote one line on his napkin: "One's success in life is relevant only to one's own capacity." Warren is the Dean of the Leadership Academy of the Entrepreneurs Organization and a past chairman of the World Presidents Organization. He has led, built and sold companies. His point is aimed at the established founder who keeps looking sideways. A bigger home, a faster car, a bigger boat. There is always someone with more, so the comparison never ends. Warren's answer is self-mastery. You control three things every morning: your mind, your energy and your time. Manage those well, and you measure yourself against the only benchmark that counts. Your own capability. He also gave me the email that started Paper Napkin Wisdom, so this one is personal.

Inspired by Paper Napkin Wisdom Episode 113 with Warren Rustand.

Why comparing yourself to other founders leaves you wanting

Warren sees the same trap across societies. We look at a neighbor or a friend, see what they have, and want it. And there is always going to be a bigger home. There will always be someone happier, someone more successful. So the thirst never gets quenched.

He flips the direction. When you look at people who are less fortunate, you notice how fortunate you are. You also notice how you can help. Mentoring, tutoring, your energy, your effort. To Warren, that is the greater calling. It is a far better place to be, emotionally and psychologically, than always wanting more.

Underneath the comparison is a definition problem. When we define more, Warren says, we almost always define it in material terms. And that is often what gets in the way of real success.

What are Warren Rustand's five steps to personal greatness?

Self-mastery sounds huge. I asked Warren where a beginner starts. He gave me five steps:

First, commit to a higher level of personal discipline.
Second, have a purpose every day.
Third, make intentional decisions.
Fourth, make conscious choices.
Fifth, answer the call to serve.

They are integrated. You do not master one and move to the next. You make progress in each bucket every day. The closer you get to self-mastery, Warren says, the more freedom you have to do what you want with your life.

Under all five sits a single shift. Be proactive, not reactive. Crises and surprises still happen, and you react to those. But most of the time you can drive your schedule, your issues and your outcomes, instead of letting the people and events around you drive them.

How to manage your mind, energy and time from the first minute of the day

Warren points out what most of us feed ourselves first thing. By his numbers, about 70% of what we get from newspapers is negative, perhaps 73% of TV, and about 50% of what we see on a cell phone. Why start an important day by ingesting that?

His own start is simple. He sits on the edge of his bed for one minute and asks himself one question. Why am I alive today? The answer gives him his purpose for that day, and he schedules around it.

Then comes 30 minutes in three parts, the 10-10-10:

Ten minutes thinking great thoughts. About your life, your business, the sunrise. Nothing negative.
Ten minutes reading great thoughts, from a book that only reinforces the positive.
Ten minutes writing by hand in a journal about what is going right.

He learned this from sports. You never let negative thoughts in before a competition, and every day is a competition. Nutrition, sleep and exercise are part of the same discipline. Your body only has the energy you put into it.

I have done the 10-10-10 since Leadership Academy. Reading for just ten minutes was hard for me because I get lost in a book. So I collected short pearls of wisdom instead. That is where Paper Napkin Wisdom was born.

How fast can a leader really transform?

Very quickly, in Warren's experience. Once you decide you want something different and commit the discipline to get there, transformation follows.

He told the story of a friend in Los Angeles who had been a national competitive fencer in his early 20s, then fenced far less for a couple of decades. At 50 he asked Warren for help to compete for a national championship. They started talking in January. Exactly six months later Warren watched him in the gold medal round. He went on to make four U.S. national fencing teams.

The same applies inside a company. Warren described the business he was leading at the time. In two years it doubled revenue, quadrupled its share price and tripled its cash flow. But first the people had to move from complacency to high energy.

Warren also named me as an example. When I first sat at Leadership Academy I was 380 pounds and out of control, even though the business looked successful. I lost 150 pounds after committing to that regimen. His explanation was simple. I decided to change.

Why early success makes you plateau, and how to keep going

When I started to change, people noticed and said so. And I let up on the habits that got me the early results. I asked Warren if that is common.

It is. Other people tell you that you look great or that you've stepped up your game, and it is tempting to put it on cruise control. Warren's warning is that taking your foot off the accelerator gives back some of the gains. The person striving to be their best sees the plateau, recognizes it, and moves past it as fast as possible.

He also pushes back on the idea of a finish line. He does not think he has any destinations. Every time he learns something, his capacity to learn more grows. You might stop for a bottle of water, like in a marathon. You do not stop running.

This connects back to accountability. Warren sees many people who would rather have an excuse than the responsibility. Blame the spouse, the partner, the market. Once you accept full responsibility, your chances of success go up.

How to apply Warren's napkin in your business this week

Start small and start in the morning.

Before you pick up your phone, sit for one minute and ask why you are alive today. Write the answer at the top of your calendar.
Try the 10-10-10 for five mornings. Think, read and write only what is going right.
Block your time around the purpose you named, so the day is driven by you.
Notice one place you are measuring yourself against another founder. Replace it with a question about your own capacity.
Look for one plateau you have settled into since things started going well, and recommit to it.

The benchmark is not the company down the street. It is whether you gave your best, with the capacity you have, today.